Tuesday, May 7th I attended a very fun show called the Punderdome. There I was talking to my friend about how I want to start running to help my long-term comedy goals (more on that at the end). After some drinks and talking, he bet me one hundred dollars that I could not run a marathon under five hours before the end of this year. The specific rules were:
- I must run a marathon that’s timed by an official third party in under five hours.
- I must run the marathon before January 1st, 2020.
I enthusiastically took the bet.
Question 1: I’m a complete novice. Can I even run a marathon in less than 7 months?
To add more context, let me tell you about my general non-health. January 2019, I weighed 189 lbs, while being 5’9″. Then I started to exercise in January, and I was hovering around 185 lbs around May. According to standard BMI based measures, I was still safely considered over-weight, and I hadn’t run more than a mile or two in probably 7 years since high school. Long story short, I was (and am) out-of-shape, and a complete novice at running.
Nonetheless, I took the bet in May and I had seven months to beat it. When I took the bet, for no reason at all except for the fact that I felt like it, I thought a marathon was something one can train for in less than six months. It was probably the beer talking. The morning after I shook hands, I woke up and started doing research on how long a beginner takes to get to zero to one marathon.
Good news! Most of the beginner marathon training plans were around 16 to 20 weeks long. In other words, I need four months. May, plus 4 months meant September. So if I started a marathon plan immediately, I can be prepared to run three months before the end of the year! So was a marathon possible? Yes, it seemed to be. Whew!
Question 2: Are there any marathons I can run between September and December?
So… yes. The answer is yes. But turns out, registering for marathons usually cost more than $100.00. I did not know that. Living in NYC, I did ponder the possibility of going out of state to go do a marathon, but I decided against it. So the two choices for me were the Yonkers Marathon, and the Brooklyn Marathon. The Yonkers one is cheaper, but I found out that the Brooklyn Marathon is more relatively flat. And I don’t know much about running, but flat is probably easier, so I signed up for that one. My date was set… Saturday, October 19th!
It cost $160.00. So it’s either I end up losing a bet and be paying $260.00 to run this thing or win the bet and run a marathon for $60.00. It’s a great discount!
Question 3: Which plan do I use?
I found this plan by Hal Hidgon. It’s 18 weeks long, and it seems very straightforward – according to forums around the internet, it’s a great novice plan for its simplicity. Working backwards from October 19th, I realized I need to start my 18 week plan starting June 17th. Given I shook hands in the beginning of May, I decided to start running a mile or two, at a consistent basis until June 17th, and then, start my plan so my marathon date would align with the Hal Hidgon plan. My idea was that this would give me 6 weeks to just get my body acclimated to the idea of running, and would allow for me to adjust my sleeping schedule to fit a consistent running load.
These 6 weeks were critical – my body did not enjoy having to move. I honestly think I averaged less than 500 yards of walking a day for the longest time – Costco trips were the longest walks I did.
Question 3: What does it mean to run a marathon in under 5 hours?
Sub-5 hours means, running 26.2 miles, at a pace of around 11 minutes and 30 seconds a mile. According to runnersworld.com:
To break five hours, you should eventually be capable of a sub-2:15 half marathon (10:15 per mile) and sub-60:00 10K (9:30 per mile).
https://www.runnersworld.com/uk/training/marathon/a776634/16-week-free-marathon-training-plan-sub-5-00/
My plan is to check in on these goals as I use the 18 week plan. In his plan you start off with running around 3 miles, but eventually you incorporate longer runs including half-marathons, and a 10k. By benchmarking myself against the runnersworld times, I should be able to see whether I’m on track.
Question 4: How am I doing?
I’m five weeks into my 18 week plan. I ran a 10k two weeks ago. My time clocked in at 65:17. I was little over 5 min over my target to run this thing in under 5 hours. According to an online calculator, my predicted marathon time is 5 hours and 3 minutes. So close! That said, a few days ago, I ran a 5k in 24:11. According to the same online calculator, this means I’ll be running in 3 hours 55 minutes.
…Something tells me that the calculator should really be used as a loose reference. Wishful thinking, but if we split the difference, I’ll get a time of around 4 hours and 30 minutes. That would be an amazing time! Also I’d get money. Money is always great.
Question 5: How do I feel?
I mentioned earlier that I weighed 189 lbs. at the beginning of the year. Right now, I weigh 179lbs. I lost about 10 lbs. I’m still considered over-weight, but it honestly is really exciting to know that I am only 11 more pounds away from a BMI of 25, which is where I would be considered, “normal weight”.
Anyway, I feel great. It’s really nice to know that I’m making progress. May 16th, I ran 3.4 miles with a pace of 9 minutes 31 seconds per mile. Skip forward to July 4th, and my pace around the same course is now 8 minutes 28 seconds per mile! Beginner gains, I know, but it’s nice to see that my endurance is improving.
Question 6: Why do this?
When I was talking about how I wanted to start running with my friend at the Punderdome, it was after a few years of contemplation of how I could shape my life around entertaining and captivating people. I love doing that – at least I love the idea of doing that. How can I get better at it? How can I collaborate with others to make something bigger than all of us? All of these questions were bouncing around in my head, when I came across one thought in particular:
What if all my dreams come true and I get an opportunity to perform on the biggest stages and screens around the world? When and if that happens, what do I want everyone to see, and how do I want to be?
I came to the following conclusions. First, for the sake of representation, I want them to see someone who is healthy and strong. And second, for the sake of my personal goals of long-term success, I want to make sure I can perform at a high level, sustainably.
To do this, it is critical for me to be healthy. I need to exercise regularly, eat right, and keep my weight at a level that’s considered “normal”. Studies show that BMI’s under 20 and over 25 are associated with higher all-cause mortality. In other words, being over-weight as I am, I am literally giving myself a lower probability of living. Needless to say, other than some unusual cases where perhaps your body is used as a prop “Weekend at Bernies”-style, or your skull is cast as Yorick in Hamlet, living is a prerequisite to performing, and so, being healthy is critical to my goals.
That’s really why I wanted to start running. I need to get healthier to give myself a better shot. I’m running today because I want a better chance at making more people laugh. And plus, hundred bucks is nothing to sniff at.