In preparation for my marathon, one of the things I did was read Murakami. I read the book, “What I Talk About When I Talk About Running” in the original Japanese.
In it, he talks about mantras he keeps in his head while running long distances. Here is the English translation:
One runner told of a mantra his older brother, also a runner, had taught him which he’s pondered ever since he began running. Here it is: Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Say you’re running and you start to think, Man this hurts, I can’t take it anymore. The hurt part is an unavoidable reality, but whether or not you can stand any more is up to the runner himself. This pretty much sums up the most important aspect of marathon running.
The interesting thing about it is, the following is how it appears in the original Japanese text:
その中に一人、兄（その人もランナー）に教わった文句を、走り始めて以来ずっと、レース中に頭の中で反芻しているというランナーがいた。Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. それが彼のマントラだった。正確なニュアンスは日本語に訳しにくいのだが、あえてごく簡単に訳せば、「痛みは避けがたいが、苦しみはオプショナル（こちら次第）」ということになる。例えば走っていて「ああ、きつい、もう駄目だ」と思ったとして、「きつい」というのは避けようのない事実だが、「もう駄目」かどうかはあくまでも本人の裁量に委ねられていることである。この言葉は、マラソンという競技のいちばん大事な部分を簡潔に要約していると思う。
He quotes the mantra in English! And he has a tidbit that was taken out of the English translation, where he describes that (what follows is my translation), “the exact nuance of the phrase is hard to translate, but if I translate rather reductively it means, “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional (up to us)”.
(So yes, that’s my translation of Murakami’s translation.)
What’s makes this more interesting is that, “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional”, is itself a translated idiom that’s a summary of of a Buddhist parable. Japan, with its strong Buddhist culture, definitely has a translation ready for that phrase. So Murakami really didn’t need to go through the trouble, unless he didn’t know the parable or decided explicitly to do what he did. Any way, the parable goes like this, “You are walking in a forest when an arrow hits you. You feel pain. But the archer is going to shoot another arrow. Can you dodge the second one?” The second arrow represents emotional reaction. This, Buddha says, is something that can be controlled through contemplation.
So, what do we have here? The original Buddhist idea, translated somewhere and somewhen into English, passed on to a runner, told to Murakami in English, which he translated into Japanese his book, which was then translated into English again.
Because this is understandably a complicated thing to express without extensive footnotes, the English translation simply omits that part of the original writing and merely presents the “original” mantra Murakami heard in English…which is sort of a shame. Murakami is not only known as a writer, but as a prolific Japanese translator of English texts. His translations of Truman Capote, Raymond Carver, and J.D. Salinger are among the more respected in Japan. The whole tidbit of Murakami translating something is inherently Murakami, and in my opinion, something that ought to have been kept in the English translation in some shape or form.
1.I must run a marathon that’s timed by an official third party, in under 5 hours. 2.I must run the marathon before January 1st, 2020.
With a time of 4 hours and 56 minutes, I won the bet today at the Brooklyn Marathon!
And my legs are exploding. My legs are screaming and are so freaking sore. But I am so happy I was able to achieve this goal that’s been 6 months in the making. Here is my race report:
Since Hal Higdon’s plan was an 18 week plan, and I had more than that so I decided to do the first week of the plan repeatedly until I was 18 weeks away from my marathon.
Everything that’s a red square is me not running due to injury, business, or laziness. The plan calls for me running on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Everywhere I am running on Monday or Sunday is me trying to compensate for something I missed. Wow. I missed a bunch of days!
My race starts at Prospect Park at 7AM. I woke up at 4:00AM. This is a bit TMI, but I get the bowel movement about 1.5 hours after I drink my morning, pre-run Nuun Tablet. Something I don’t want happening during the race. So, I woke up early so I can do the deed at 5:30AM. Then I took a Lyft to Prospect Park, arriving there at around 6:20. I was wearing a cheap sweatshirt I bought at H&M, and looked for a pacer.
A pacer is a person who holds up a sign saying that they will run the event in however much time. The idea is that you find a pacer who is running closest to your target time. I found my 5 hour pacer, and after a few teeth chattering minutes, it was 7:00 AM and I was off! I took off my sweatshirt and chucked it to the side of the road where a bunch of other runner’s sweatshirts were. (Apparently they collect and donate all of those clothes later.)
The air was brisk and I could see my breath. Perfect running temperature.
Miles 1-3
This was easy. My body was getting nice and warmed up get but the cool temperature kept any sweat from forming. At the three mile mark, I had my first watering station experience. After fumbling with a cup, I was able to take a sip, washing down a Gu Energy gel in the process.
Miles 4-7
This was pretty cool. The course went on to this stretch of freeway, and I was able to run on a four or five lane freeway. The crowd stretched for miles. We were about 30 seconds ahead in pace.
Miles 7 – 10
It was starting to get fatiguing. In my head, I was thinking, “You’ve done this distance before. 26.2 divided by 3 is a bit less than 9 miles. You are a third the way there!” At this point, my pacer, whose co-pacer was no where to be found, handed me the sign to carry on the pace as they took bathroom breaks. After a quarter of a mile or so, my pacer caught up to me to continue holding the sign. We were about a minute ahead in pace.
Miles 10 – 13.1
At this point I was starting to do my first loop around Prospect Park. The loop contained an incline that was pretty hard. Then I realized I need to do that incline four more times. Oof! While running there was a dead frog on the course. People kept on dodging that poor thing. At this point, 2 people who were running with us stopped keeping up with us, bringing the five hour pacing crew’s numbers down to three including the pacer themselves. We then hit our half-marathon point.
Miles 13.1 – 16
Things were getting tough. I did my loop again, this time was easier. The Prospect Park Track Club (the ones who organized the pacers), put themselves halfway up the hill, cheering us on. This was a really nice feeling. Speaking of which, along the course were brass bands, drumlines, and other spectators cheering us on the whole time. It felt really really good.
Miles 16 – 19
At this point I was in my third loop. At mile marker 18, I was getting into unknown territory – I’ve never ran more than that before. I checked my breath, I scanned my body – my right foot arch was getting a bit sore, but it felt like something I can power through. At this point I was alternating between Gatorade and water at the water stations. This was around when I started to feel a runner’s high. My instinct was to rip it, but the pacer kept me from blowing out. I had to make a conscious effort to keep my pace consistent and controlled.
Miles 19 – 22
Oh no. I’ve definitely hit the wall. I took another Gu energy gel and some combination of eating the gel too fast, drinking a gatorade, and hitting an uphill, really made me super nauseous for a second. It was as if my body realized I was running longer than ever and was screaming, “Hey! It’s time to STOP!” I trailed behind the pacer, and during a downhill section, pushed myself to catch up. Then, after two miles, it was as if my body realized, “well, okay, I guess we are in this for the long haul, here’s a second wind to keep you running away from some tiger you are so afraid of, or something”. I was again, on pace. Knowing I had less than 6 miles left was a huge morale boost as well.
Miles 22 – 26.2
At this point, it was just the pacer and me. Everyone else dropped out. They get closer and tells me, “so, my goal is to finish as close to 5 hours as possible. I’m not going to tell you what to do, but if you want to go ahead and run ahead, don’t let me hold you back.”
I said, “Sounds good. I was thinking I want to do that, when do you think is a good time to go for it?”
He said, “Definitely after the hill. Then you have 1.6 miles to go.”
This was fantastic advice – I was hoping to actually start pushing from before the hill. But this guy has 37 years of running experience. I trusted him and started my attack after the hill.
My “attack”, was super anti-climactic. I said to him, “thank you so much, I’m gonna go for it!” with the hutzpah of a daring athlete going for a Hail Mary play. What really happened was me high fiving him and then only going slightly faster in a way that I could hear his footsteps behind me for at least a quarter of a mile.
But eventually, my legs started to go faster. I looked at my watch, It was going to be close… I saw the 26 mile marker, 0.2 miles left. My legs really started to move. I started to hear music, my girlfriend and my friend (who I was happy to realize will be giving me $100.00 in a few more steps), were cheering. And suddenly, I was a marathon finisher for the first time!
Afterthoughts
My legs are exploding. It feels like a real release in a way. For the last few weeks, I just wanted to get this over with so I don’t have to run all the time anymore. I was getting sick of it. But as I finished the race, I can’t deny that I was thinking, “Hmm. Can I do faster next time?”
Now as I’m hobbling around in my apartment, barely able to walk, I’m back to thinking about being done with running. It’s strange. My immediate response to the idea of running right now is, “oh HELL NO.” But in the back of my mind, I am definitely thinking otherwise.
A few months ago, Aaron Sorkin and selected cast members from the Broadway production To Kill a Mockingbird gave a talk at the Google New York office. In the Q&A section, Aaron Sorkin was asked by a Google employee how he manages writer’s block. Here was his answer:
Listen…people ask me if I get writer’s block. Writer’s block is my default position.
A few days ago I finished reading Stephen King’s wonderful memoir, On Writing:
Published in 2000 after a life-threatening car accident, Stephen King details his relationship with writing, how he started writing, how he believes writing ought to be, and how writing was a part of his rehabilitation. In this he writes:
…stopping a piece of work just because it’s hard, either emotionally or imaginatively, is a bad idea. Sometimes you have to go on when you don’t feel like it, and sometimes you’re doing good work when it feels like all you’re managing is to shovel shit from a sitting position.
King, Stephen. On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft. New York: Scribner, 2000. Print.
Combine these quotes together and you get this: “it’s hard to write, that’s how it is, and you should write through it.” If you replace “write” with anything else it works too: “it’s hard to sing, that’s how it is, and you should sing through it”. “It’s hard to make people laugh, that’s how it is, and you should keep telling jokes through it”. “It’s hard to ‘A’, that’s how it is, and you should keep on trucking”.
It’s nothing ground breaking, and I guess it’s obvious, but personally I think it’s nice to hear these things from complete strangers you respect. I wholeheartedly recommend checking out the Google Talk linked above and the book. If you had to choose, I’d choose the book.
Tuesday, May 7th I attended a very fun show called the Punderdome. There I was talking to my friend about how I want to start running to help my long-term comedy goals (more on that at the end). After some drinks and talking, he bet me one hundred dollars that I could not run a marathon under five hours before the end of this year. The specific rules were:
I must run a marathon that’s timed by an official third party in under five hours.
I must run the marathon before January 1st, 2020.
I enthusiastically took the bet.
Question 1: I’m a complete novice. Can I even run a marathon in less than 7 months?
To add more context, let me tell you about my general non-health. January 2019, I weighed 189 lbs, while being 5’9″. Then I started to exercise in January, and I was hovering around 185 lbs around May. According to standard BMI based measures, I was still safely considered over-weight, and I hadn’t run more than a mile or two in probably 7 years since high school. Long story short, I was (and am) out-of-shape, and a complete novice at running.
Nonetheless, I took the bet in May and I had seven months to beat it. When I took the bet, for no reason at all except for the fact that I felt like it, I thought a marathon was something one can train for in less than six months. It was probably the beer talking. The morning after I shook hands, I woke up and started doing research on how long a beginner takes to get to zero to one marathon.
Good news! Most of the beginner marathon training plans were around 16 to 20 weeks long. In other words, I need four months. May, plus 4 months meant September. So if I started a marathon plan immediately, I can be prepared to run three months before the end of the year! So was a marathon possible? Yes, it seemed to be. Whew!
Question 2: Are there any marathons I can run between September and December?
So… yes. The answer is yes. But turns out, registering for marathons usually cost more than $100.00. I did not know that. Living in NYC, I did ponder the possibility of going out of state to go do a marathon, but I decided against it. So the two choices for me were the Yonkers Marathon, and the Brooklyn Marathon. The Yonkers one is cheaper, but I found out that the Brooklyn Marathon is more relatively flat. And I don’t know much about running, but flat is probably easier, so I signed up for that one. My date was set… Saturday, October 19th!
It cost $160.00. So it’s either I end up losing a bet and be paying $260.00 to run this thing or win the bet and run a marathon for $60.00. It’s a great discount!
Question 3: Which plan do I use?
I found this plan by Hal Hidgon. It’s 18 weeks long, and it seems very straightforward – according to forums around the internet, it’s a great novice plan for its simplicity. Working backwards from October 19th, I realized I need to start my 18 week plan starting June 17th. Given I shook hands in the beginning of May, I decided to start running a mile or two, at a consistent basis until June 17th, and then, start my plan so my marathon date would align with the Hal Hidgon plan. My idea was that this would give me 6 weeks to just get my body acclimated to the idea of running, and would allow for me to adjust my sleeping schedule to fit a consistent running load.
These 6 weeks were critical – my body did not enjoy having to move. I honestly think I averaged less than 500 yards of walking a day for the longest time – Costco trips were the longest walks I did.
Question 3: What does it mean to run a marathon in under 5 hours?
Sub-5 hours means, running 26.2 miles, at a pace of around 11 minutes and 30 seconds a mile. According to runnersworld.com:
To break five hours, you should eventually be capable of a sub-2:15 half marathon (10:15 per mile) and sub-60:00 10K (9:30 per mile).
My plan is to check in on these goals as I use the 18 week plan. In his plan you start off with running around 3 miles, but eventually you incorporate longer runs including half-marathons, and a 10k. By benchmarking myself against the runnersworld times, I should be able to see whether I’m on track.
Question 4: How am I doing?
I’m five weeks into my 18 week plan. I ran a 10k two weeks ago. My time clocked in at 65:17. I was little over 5 min over my target to run this thing in under 5 hours. According to an online calculator, my predicted marathon time is 5 hours and 3 minutes. So close! That said, a few days ago, I ran a 5k in 24:11. According to the same online calculator, this means I’ll be running in 3 hours 55 minutes.
…Something tells me that the calculator should really be used as a loose reference. Wishful thinking, but if we split the difference, I’ll get a time of around 4 hours and 30 minutes. That would be an amazing time! Also I’d get money. Money is always great.
Question 5: How do I feel?
I mentioned earlier that I weighed 189 lbs. at the beginning of the year. Right now, I weigh 179lbs. I lost about 10 lbs. I’m still considered over-weight, but it honestly is really exciting to know that I am only 11 more pounds away from a BMI of 25, which is where I would be considered, “normal weight”.
Anyway, I feel great.It’s really nice to know that I’m making progress. May 16th, I ran 3.4 miles with a pace of 9 minutes 31 seconds per mile. Skip forward to July 4th, and my pace around the same course is now 8 minutes 28 seconds per mile! Beginner gains, I know, but it’s nice to see that my endurance is improving.
Question 6: Why do this?
When I was talking about how I wanted to start running with my friend at the Punderdome, it was after a few years of contemplation of how I could shape my life around entertaining and captivating people. I love doing that – at least I love the idea of doing that. How can I get better at it? How can I collaborate with others to make something bigger than all of us? All of these questions were bouncing around in my head, when I came across one thought in particular:
What if all my dreams come true and I get an opportunity to perform on the biggest stages and screens around the world? When and if that happens, what do I want everyone to see, and how do I want to be?
I came to the following conclusions. First, for the sake of representation, I want them to see someone who is healthy and strong. And second, for the sake of my personal goals of long-term success, I want to make sure I can perform at a high level, sustainably.
To do this, it is critical for me to be healthy. I need to exercise regularly, eat right, and keep my weight at a level that’s considered “normal”. Studies show that BMI’s under 20 and over 25 are associated with higher all-cause mortality. In other words, being over-weight as I am, I am literally giving myself a lower probability of living. Needless to say, other than some unusual cases where perhaps your body is used as a prop “Weekend at Bernies”-style, or your skull is cast as Yorick in Hamlet, living is a prerequisite to performing, and so, being healthy is critical to my goals.
That’s really why I wanted to start running. I need to get healthier to give myself a better shot. I’m running today because I want a better chance at making more people laugh. And plus, hundred bucks is nothing to sniff at.
One of my favorite book stores in New York is called Mercer Street Books & Records. I went there with my girlfriend the other day, and I found this book:
When I saw the title, I knew I had to read it. I felt a strangely strong urge which was very interesting to me. After reading the book, I think I know why I felt so compelled.
So, recently, for the past year or so, I have been doing a lot of…anxious contemplating. These thoughts are accompanied with what I can only describe as an impatient urge. It actually reminds me of my dog when he’s itching to run out of the house into the yard – I have no idea where I want to go, but all I know is that I don’t want to stay put.
Then, a few weeks ago, I wrote a comedy skit, and had the opportunity to perform it at the Upright Citizens Brigade theater. It went over decently. Got a few laughs. But above all else, I was surprised at how much I felt a release. The anxious feelings I felt were immediately flipped on its end and I felt a rush.
It was immediately obvious that the act of creation was intrinsically related to my anxious thoughts. Making things somehow felt right.
Then I found this book. The title posited a question to me that I didn’t even think to ask. After reading the title, I wanted to know how making fit into a bigger picture if there was any. I wanted to read a story from a person who had made creation his life. I wanted to know how he got there, and wanted to know what he found.
In my opinion, the book does a wonderful job of answering those questions. It’s a very personal story about one master craftsman’s life, but it’s a story that applies broadly. The earlier sections of the book where Peter Korn talks about his youth, details his experiencing of existential anxieties which were personally very relatable. Later in the book, Peter Korn writes about a few epiphanies he’s had later in his life, of which I found the following to be the most reassuring and guiding to me:
My own values became clear when I eventually realized that the words I used to describe my aesthetic goals as a furniture maker – integrity, simplicity, and grace – also described the person I sought to grow into through the practice of craftsmanship…
The simple truth is that people who engage in creative practice go into the studio first and foremost because they expect to emerge from the other end of the creative gauntlet as different people.
Peter Korn, Why We Make Things and Why It Matters: The Education of a Craftsman
He describes creation as a self-transformative activity, through which people strive to imbue their creations with qualities they themselves aspire to. I found this idea liberating as it opened up a way to rewire my brain to translate my internal anxieties into opportunities – as long as I feel anxious and wanting to improve, that’s more creating I get to do. I’m not saying I don’t feel anxious anymore, but it was a nice feeling to be able to channel these feelings in a positive manner.
All in all, this was a great book that I feel came to me at a really appropriate time. Personally, I can’t recommend this book enough.
